Archive for November 14, 2008


There it happened again. Another nightmare.

My nightmares were usually horror enough to wake me up panting in darkness. I will need to sit on my bed, to let my conscious tell me that I am still in my room. Sometimes I will not be convinced enough until I switch on the light and have a careful look around my room. Nightmares, sometimes, can be very tricky. You thought you had wake up but the monster will again sprang out from the darkness for the second time, before it eventually wakes you up for real.

My classic nightmare scenes usually consists of being chased by monster, or door failed to shut properly whenever there is a monster behind it, or forgot to bring my homework to school, or failed in my exam, or worst among all, forgot to attend an exam. Funny it may sound but each have the potential to give me heart attack.

Yet, these recent nightmares were not as horror enough to wake me up from my sleep. Horror, but not too horror. I can even hardly recall what it was after I woke up. However, it always left something behind to make me feel frighten and restless for no particular reason. What should I call it then? Maybe ‘unpleasant dream’ will be a good name for it.

It just haunts me. I can see myself in few different scenes, doing related or sometimes unrelated things, with a crowd of people I had never met. Better still, in certain occasion, those whom I had not kept in touch for ages will appear before me. As messy as a scrambled egg it was, so did with the feeling aftermath. Confused, sober and upset, not necessary in the order.

Suppose that will be a very entertaining dream, I told myself, meeting new people or at times keep in touch with people whom I had long forgotten. However something deep inside my heart told me it was not. Yes, not at all. I could feel that I was restless. The voice inside my head told me so. Restless soul always generates restless dreams.

The voice in my head always knew myself better than me. The voice, though, is just like another version of Microsoft Windows Help and Support page. It never actually helps to solve your computer’s blue screen problem, but it tells where to look at, though it was wrong most of the time.

It was almost correct, however, in this case. But knowing a problem yet unable to solve it is just as equivalent as to not knowing where the problem lies. So what is the problem? What is so big deal, to steal away my sleep and my peace? Nothing but just a simple fact that a friend of mine is going to Far Far Away. Nothing but just the fear that I will be little bit more lonely than before.

What can be done?

It could be lots easier if it was, like in one of those movies you ever watched, your lover was forced to get married with a villain. You can always enter the church on their wedding day with a loud kick on the door and save her before both of you finally lived happily ever after. That is what Disney always taught the kids. The problem is, no lover was involved here. Just a friend whom had left behind a number of foot prints in my heart.

Probably reading more good novels may help.

The eye of man hath not heard, the ear of man hath not seen, man’s hand is not able to taste, his tongue to conceive, nor his heart to report, what my dream was.

~William Shakespeare

November 14, 2008 at 11:52 pm 8 comments

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