Raphael

I am an ordinary person who lived in an extraordinary world.

Me

In the last 25 years of my life, I enjoyed reading, fishing, gardening and jungle trekking. I received my BSc degree in Conservation Biology in year 2005 and MBA degree three years later. My life changed when I celebrated the 26th anniversary of my existence. A tumor was discovered in my sacrum. I was operated and stayed in hospital for 3 months. In the process my body received blood from 20 strangers. I have to complete my MBA thesis in the hospital.

This was my life’s scariest experience. The smell of death seemed so near. The thought of losing the freedom to live like a normal people was devastating in the beginning. Somehow I managed to overcome it, with God, family and friends’ help.

My life changed again after I was discharged. I spend most of my time in front of my computer. My body was too fragile to resume my favorite outdoor activities. My days started and ended with carrots. I avoid eating all kind of meat, sweet and processed food. I took only fish and vegetables for other meals. This is a precaution taken to control and starve the tumor cells. In the process, I discovered a few life’s small secrets, including how to lost body fat without the need of vigorous exercise.

I started to blog after I was discharged. It happened one day when I went to a cyber cafe to look for information about my tumor. The information I found could not be saved because the cyber cafe owner had removed all the USB ports from all computers. I have no choice but to save all the links inside my friendster’s blog. So my first and second blogs were the links to all my tumor’s information.

Since then, I continued to blog whenever I could, to celebrate another day of my nature’s existence. Life had not been easy though. A discovery of slightest pain on my body will drive me paranoid. Pain was a good indicator of tumor’s existence and recurrence, especially prolonged pain in a fixed part of the body. I also measure my temperature daily. Fever is one of the indicators of tumor attack.

As I move on, I learned to accept myself. Only then I started to sense peace and tranquil. Sometimes I do lose my peace. It will be among the darkest hour of my life. Nothing much can be done but continue to pray.

I strongly believe that life is meant to be lived with joy and optimism. Just want to let you know that I never looked back into my first two blogs ever since I walked out from the cyber cafe. Reading thru all those dreadful information somehow kills me faster than the actual tumor did. So I choose to take care of myself by eat and rest well rather than to give myself paranoids by knowing more about my tumor. After all, this life is not definite. There is a resurrection waiting.

To all of you whom have your own battle, especially those with my kind, do be strong. Each day is a beautiful day when you live it to the fullest.

Today I took my pleasure to do what I love the most; reading books, listening to music and watching movies. In the near future, when I am bit stronger, I would like to try a little bit of gardening.

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11 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Azhar Abdul Aziz  |  December 1, 2008 at 1:50 pm

    ooo….sory to hear that KOh…..

    ko kat ner skang ????

    what are u doing?

  • 2. Jac  |  December 10, 2008 at 10:15 am

    Beautifully written, my friend.
    Yes, you are surrounded by God’s love in the form of family and friends.

  • 3. rhealk  |  December 17, 2008 at 6:12 am

    Thanks, for both the praise and being a friend

  • 4. rhealk  |  December 17, 2008 at 6:15 am

    Still in Sibu, Sarawak. Doing countdown to see who’s our new CMS!

  • 5. Iris  |  December 17, 2008 at 1:31 pm

    Raphael, glad to discover your blog.
    I admire your fighting spirit =) My prayers with you.
    See you when I am back in January

  • 6. Jen uhhh Side  |  January 7, 2009 at 3:08 pm

    I’m glad to know you and know you are gardening and living and eating and laughing and having long conversations with friends :]
    Especially me because I am very fortunate to have ever come into contact with you and I look forward to talking with you every day and every night.
    You’ve become one of my favorite people and I look forward to meeting you one day.
    You’re inspirational and you are a great person to top it off.
    Thank you for letting us read everything you have to say.

  • 7. rhealk  |  January 7, 2009 at 3:17 pm

    Thank you so much for your compliments. You’re just so lovely. *winks*
    I’m just as glad to know you and looking forward to talk to you too!
    Haha, who knows, we might meet some days later, in person! Hooray!!!

  • 8. serendipity hopeful  |  February 1, 2009 at 6:49 pm

    Like your attitude. Only by accepting are we allowing our mind and spirit to settle and ourselves to be calm. Be thankful that we are still alive each day. Whether we have your conditions or not, be mindful to be grateful sure keeps paranoid away.

    Try meditation it helps us to be more grounded.

  • 9. rhealk  |  February 4, 2009 at 1:05 pm

    Thank you 😛 For the encouragement

  • 10. Richard  |  February 8, 2012 at 1:13 am

    The Lord listens to all, Raphael, stay positive,you are in my prayers. The Our Father prayer are your anchor and salvation,my friend

  • 11. jen enanod  |  October 8, 2012 at 5:12 pm

    Raphael, your namesake is no less than St. Raphael, the Archangel. Raphael means “God heals”. I hope you will keep your blog updated so we will know all is well with you. God bless.

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